Sacred Self Care

Looking ahead to 2021

This is a time where people are learning much more about themselves. People right now, everywhere, are learning that there is more to life, and they are on the verge of change. They are resilient, have a growth mindset and continue to set goals. All of this is part of the road to self-discovery and living our truth.

But what if you have been on the verge of change for what has seemed to be way too long? You may be doing more, trying harder than you ever had, to make whatever change that has sparked your action, but it just doesn’t seem to be working out. You’ve reached a point in your journey where you just feel stuck. The best advice is “don’t stop”! But how do you persevere?

First, let me remind you there is no going back now. You have reached a place where even if you gave it up, pretty soon, you’ll be back to try it again because you’ve already started to develop a new concept of yourself in your mind. You may be experiencing a subconscious resistance to this change, so it’s time to shake things up.


Making changes can spark our deepest insecurities. Embrace this because fear is a good indicator that we are on track for some major growth. You can learn to identify your fears and push past them. Remember that even a positive change from a negative pattern can lead to resistance. The only way to get past this is to push through it. Creating change requires action. So take a moment to let your internal dialogue voice its fear (of failure, of inadequacy, of not deserving it, of responsibility, etc.) and then respond with “Thanks for letting me know, but I’ve got work to do now.


If you started to give up, get back up there and do it again now! Before it goes away on a shelf and you chalk it up to something you can’t do. That would be so wrong. You can do anything. You just need to keep feeding that hunger in you. Do it over and over until you think you have given it your all, and then do it again. Concentrate on the times you successfully finished a project and use that memory to reignite your spark. You actually did start to change, so go back and think of what that looked like. How did “starting” work for you in the past? What can you implement right now to be able to start again?


Lack of focus or motivation can come from feeling overwhelmed. It’s time to take a look at your goals again and break them down even further. In our rush-to-excess society, we tend to set lofty goals with an unrealistic time frame. Even if you have the best intentions, it will be hard to achieve. It’s time to take baby steps and break it waaaaaay down!

  • What is the very next small step you can take towards your goal?
  • When will you do it?
  • How will you reward yourself?

Make a list of the steps you need to take on your journey and break all those steps down. Now go back and break them down three more times into very small tasks to do. This is how you begin.


You can fit anything into your schedule for 15 minutes a day. Figure out what time of day is best for you and schedule this time to work on your action steps. You can even start working on your goal in five to fifteen-minute increments three or four times a week. This helps take the pressure off and fits into all of the other activities you have during the day. Also, if you continue to work past this time frame, you have the benefit of exceeding your expectations and experiencing a feeling of accomplishment. This continues to fuel your motivation.

Setting small goals and carving out the time to do it will get you excited about starting again. Rather than dreading what or how much to do, or wondering if you are doing enough, small goals will motivate you. When you achieve each small goal, the momentum builds to help carry you through until you finish.

I believe this life is about ascension. We are born the way we are, and we progress, turning our lives into the best of what it can be, or more. However, the only way we can ascend is to put forth a different effort toward a new action we have never tried before.

It might hurt sometimes. It may seem hopeless sometimes. You may feel beat down, tired, back in a negative frame of mind, but DO NOT STOP! You can be better than ever, as long as you continue to push forward. Don’t let setbacks defeat you. Learn from it and keep going. The key to success is to persevere. YOU CAN DO IT!

About the author: JR is a CA Addiction Treatment Counselor Level 2 (CATC II), Certified Alcohol and Drug Counselor, Alumni Coordinator, Veterans Support Group Counselor, and USMC Veteran Sgt.  He spends his days helping others make positive changes and set goals on their road to recovery.